Maturity

When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me. ‭‭1 Corinthians‬ ‭13:11‬

I have been thinking about the word "maturity" a lot this summer. My desire for maturity largely comes from people in my life whom I have greatly respected over the years who have displayed qualities of maturity that I want for myself. I have encountered speed bumps along the way in the form of these people I greatly respect showing their imperfections, my inability to reconcile this, and my own imperfections.

As a child, adults I respected could do no wrong in my eyes. So when I experienced their imperfections, I could not wrap my immature understanding around it and would become angry and defiant. I would cut off relationships because of my hurt and lack of guidance.

I don't think maturity is a constant growth. I think of it more as growth spurts and growth spurts can be painful. After all, that is why we have the term "growing pains." I am not usually aware that I am growing in maturity, I think because I am often too focused on the pain. I don't usually realize maturity has occurred until sometime after when I see someone else exhibiting an immature behavior I once considered normal and see just how detrimental it really is.

There is maturity in vulnerability which I find interesting because the most vulnerable among us are children who, by definition, are immature. But children express their emotion and are their genuine selves at all times. When I am with a child, I know if they are feeling happy or sad or afraid or angry. They laugh, they cry, they cower, they yell and stomp their feet and they want someone to respond, to laugh with them, to console and comfort them, to protect them and help them feel safe, and to help them make sense of why things don't always go their way. And because sometimes people react poorly to our genuine, vulnerable selves and we are made to feel some emotions are undesirable, we experience shame and we learn to hide our true emotions and new levels of immaturity emerges such as sarcasm, passive aggression, and running from our conficts rather than try to resolve them.

So while our thinking as children is immature, I feel true maturity comes when we combine our wisdom in thinking that comes from age and experience with the openess of emotion and vulnerability we experience as children.

He called a little child to him, and placed the child among them. And he said: “Truly I tell you, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. Therefore, whoever takes the lowly position of this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven.” ‭‭Matthew‬ ‭18:2-4‬ ‭NIV‬‬

Life is hard. Sin is easy.

Life is hard, sin is easy, and sin entices. If it didn't, we wouldn't feel tempted, and life would be easier if every person always made the good and right choice. So much suffering could be avoided if we never sinned. The only bright side is that through our failings, through our mistakes, God can work in us to help us mature and grow... if we let Him. He won't force us to accept his guidance. But even then, while we accept the grace and guidance of Christ's sacrifice and love for us, it won't erase the pain and natural consequences our sinful choices may have caused. Not until eternity at least. This may lead to a loss of relationships with those badly affected by our mistakes. It may lead to a loss of a marriage, a family, a friendship, a partnership, an education, a career, a goal, a home, of peace, happiness, freedom.

Sin entices, but always ends in pain. Consider David, who had affair and got a woman pregnant. To cover it up he ordered the death of her husband in battle and as a consequence, lost the child. Consider Moses who lost his temper and did things his way instead of following God's instruction and was not allowed to enter the promise land he spent so many years trying to get to.

The gift of salvation is easy. We just have to willingly receive it. But the road to walk after is treacherous, for as we grow in our knowledge and understanding of God and His word, temptations will still bombard us and make it difficult to resist.

When I was a teenager, I remember hearing this analogy... Consider there is a line dividing sin from righteousness. Sometimes we try walking on that line, trying our best not to cross it, but when you are walking that line, it is so easy to accidentally step over. A goid way to think of it is trying to walk on a balance beam - not an easy feat. But if you choose to walk several feet away from the line, one misstep won't send you over the line into sin.

So what does that look like in practical terms? It means avoiding that which tempts you. Don't watch shows or movies or visit web sites that might lead you to cross that line. Don't spend time with people who want to lure you past that line. Guard your thoughts. Don't allow yourself to fantasize about sin. Stay in God's word, pray, find good Christian fellowship, find someone you can be accountable to whom you can be vulnerably honest with.

It's not easy. Jesus even said the road would be hard. But He promised to always be there if we turn to Him.

Competition

 I have been thinking a lot about competition the past several weeks. We recently had the annual Super Bowl, one of the greatest competitions of our time that countless numbers watch.

Competition exists everywhere. It starts when we are very young and is felt between siblings and peers. It seems to grow stronger as we grow older.

What drives this need in us to compete? We need only look at the reward we receive - to be seen as the best, the champion. After all, if we always lose in a competition, we give up. I tried volleyball in 7th grade. I wasn’t very good, so I didn’t play again. I gave up softball for the same reason. In high school I dreamed of getting into the best singing group in school. After being rejected three years in a row, I gave up choir. It’s not fun if you feel like you always lose and it’s not fun to just sit on a bench.

When we win, we are so consumed with our feelings of pride and happiness that we don’t care about the feelings of those who lost. Some people who lose develop problems with depression and low self-esteem because they base their worth on success, which comes from striving to be good at something and hopefully the best.

But the reason I have been thinking of competition is because I have been pondering eternity. Ever since my dad died in 2016, I find myself thinking about Heaven and eternity a lot. Over the years I have heard people talking about looking forward to playing a myriad of sports in Heaven and I find myself wondering - will such things exist? We play sports and games because they are fun, but they only feel fun because of winning. And to win, someone must lose. And in Heaven, when we are recreated as perfect immortal beings, I am left to think there will be no striving to get ahead, no desire to be seen as the best and better than our brothers and sisters. I have a hard time imagining competition existing in a world where we are at perfect peace with who we are.

But in the meantime, in these mortal bodies plagued by sin, we will continue to strive to be seen as great, good, wonderful, strong, the best, a champion in pursuits that do not affect our eternity, and which may momentarily blind us from showing love, compassion, and kindness to those we want to beat.