Vulnerability

I gave my life to Christ when I was 12. I saw adult Christian leaders as people who had things together. They seemed perfect, like they didn't struggle with sin, and I assumed that by becoming a Christian, I would be the same way when I grew up.

As an adult, I continued to see Christians who acted like they had no personal struggles and they were perfect. All my life I have strived for that perfection and never felt it and this has led me many times to question my relationship with God. Does He really love me if I struggle, because it seems other Christians don't struggle.

I think as Christians we often have the misguided idea that maturity equates perfection and that we don't struggle. I think more, we are either not honest about our struggles or we choose to hide them from others and thus put off this persona of being perfect.

But the Bible tells us to confess our sins to one another.

Why? Why should we confess our sins to one another? This question was asked in our small groups at CIY and my answer is this - because when we confess our sins to one another, it encourages others to know they are not alone in their struggles and if we confess our sins, we can hold each other accountable. Temptation can lose its hold on us when we hold one another accountable. I think God desires us to be vulnerable, not act perfect. When we are vulnerable, He can use us.

I am not perfect. I have PTSD, I struggle constantly with self-worth, I'm always afraid I'm disappointing God, I feel I deserve punishment more than grace, but through the grace of God, He has brought people into my life who are honest and vulnerable, who remind me that God sees me of great worth, that He sees me as His little child whom He cherishes, and thankfully I grew up with a great dad that I can understand that kind of love. I need encouragement daily and God knew I would. That's why He says in the Bible to encourage each other daily, as long as it's called today, so that sin does not gain a foothold.

We need to be honest with each other. We need to be vulnerable. We need to encourage each other that we understand sin, understand pain, understand the struggle between our sinful nature and the new creation Christ is making us to be.